Angry Caricaturists, When Cultures Clash & Temu Shopping Rules

Welcome to my second edition of Domestic Chaos Theory…

Angry Caricaturists. You know who really deserves the stink eye? Caricaturists. And I’ll tell you why. Because all caricaturists are sadists, that’s why! In terms of pent-up anger, it goes kind of like this. Postal workers. TSA employees. The guy with a master’s degree in French philosophy from Vassar who is now working at Jack in the Box. And then Caricature Artists. Look what this caricature artist did to me!

OK, so maybe I have a big nose. And OK, so maybe I have slits for eyes. But seriously. I paid for this?

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When Cultures Clash. Apparently, Southerners have their own language. For instance, if my wife sees a swan diving for food on a lake she’ll say, “that duck tumped over”. Intuitive, right? Even if tump isn’t exactly by-the-book English. Did you also notice that she calls a swan a duck? Here’s the funny thing. She calls every bird a duck. She calls a swan a duck. She calls a turkey a duck. She calls a chicken a duck. Ever tried making a Tur-duck-en for Thanksgiving? She hasn’t. But she has tried something she likes to call Duck-duck-duck.

Temu Shopping Rules. On the one hand, my wife doesn’t want me to spend money on myself. On the other hand, she doesn’t want me to dress like a hobo. It is a conundrum. Not surprisingly, she’s aghast that I’ve started to purchase clothing like this jacket on Temu. Completely understandable.

MY WIFE’S POV

My wife actually LOVED this edition of Substack because 2/3 of the stories were jokes about me.

Also, she’s proud about being from the South (and why wouldn’t she be) so doesn’t really care if I don’t understand a bunch of the stuff that she says.

She kind of has a point. After all, I took French in high school and the only French phrase I can seem to recall is “Burger Royale”. Which is what they call a Big Mac in France. (Thank you, Quentin Tarantino.)

On the other hand, she is the master of two languages.

And also (smartly) refused to allow herself to be drawn by this (apparently very angry) caricaturist.

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