The Pile of Temu Shame, Dollar Store Fails & My Wife’s Mood Dial

Welcome to my latest publication of Domestic Chaos Theory…

The Pile of Temu Shame. Wearing clothes that were clearly purchased on Temu gives new meaning to the term “walk of shame”. And yet, I can’t seem to stop. The other day my wife amassed all my Temu clothing purchases together in something that she likes to call the “pile of shame”. First, she makes me stare at the pile. Then whacks me on the nose with a magazine while chanting “bad purchase”. Update. I’ve made a mental note to cancel our magazine subscription.

Dollar Store Fails. Our boys have become weight-lifting fanatics. That’s fine. But the food bills are a disaster. I decided to save money by supplementing their diets with bushmeat, but our local wet market shut down. Thwarted, I pushed forward with my backup plan, purchasing crates of canned meat products from The Dollar Store. Strangely, it turns out that my wife did not care for this idea. As such, we compromised. The boys now eat whatever they want.

My Wife’s Mood Dial. I’ve noted previously that my wife has many states of being. The safest times to approach her are during the “fully caffeinated” and “slightly tanked on a half bottle of chardonnay” stages of the day. God forbid you have a question you need to ask her during that dodgy “pre-coffee” stage of the morning. It has gotten so bad that when that alarm goes off in the morning, we instinctively activate DEFCON1 mode. (Nuclear attack is imminent!) It is simply a matter of personal safety.

MY FAMILY’S POV

The food thing with the boys has clearly swung in my wife’s favor. Apparently, introducing them to such cost-effective delicacies as pre-expiration date organ meat and “uh, isn’t this can dented?” specials has scarred them for life. Seriously. My eldest now just taunts me by purchasing the most overpriced food that one can buy. I’m looking at you, Fairlife Milk.

My wife actually wasn’t crazy about the mood dial thing. She isn’t moody. Obviously. Because she really chewed me out about this one. Also, she said no one actually reads a chart anymore. That may be true, but I think if I had included a relevant picture with this story, I’m pretty sure we would have blown the top off the mood temperature gauge.

However, I more than redeemed myself with the Temu thing. Once again, she didn’t actually read the whole story but gleaned from the picture (which she loved and wants me to frame for the hallway) that I’m once again being appropriately chastised for my poor fashion decisions.

FINAL THOUGHTS

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